Accept 178 pounds of myself

Sometimes it’s hard to accept who we change into throughout our life. My life has been a roller coaster over the past few years and I often find my present self looking back at my past self and comparing. My biggest struggle right now is that this time 2 years ago, my husband was on deployment. I wouldn’t say I was the most healthy person, I was a smoker (YAY FOR QUITTING!), I ate junk food because cooking for one just isn’t fun, but the main focus of this post is that I was 30 pounds lighter and happy with my body. I mean, I could fit into my old clothes from high school, that surely felt good! Now, weighing in at 178 lbs 2 years later, none of my clothes fit the way they did and the struggles of accepting myself in my own skin is a hard pill to swallow.

Yeah, I’m trying (probably not as hard as I could be) to lose weight and become more comfortable in my own skin like I once was. I recently just started a DONATE pile for all my old/too small clothes and that felt really good. Donating and knowing that I’m helping my youth shelter down the road really makes me feel good regardless of why I’m spring cleaning my closet when it’s almost fall. I guess the silver lining could be is that I get to go shopping, although, I hate clothes shopping, but I could use a wardrobe upgrade!

I’m learning to accept myself and be happy in my own skin, which is slowly happening. I would say that the biggest step I’ve taken so far is accepting that I can’t fit into my old clothes and I went out and bought two new pairs of jeans that actually FIT me the right way. I was hanging on to every too small piece of clothing saying, “Oh, I’ll wear this again!”, when in reality, it would be a journey to get back to that pair of skinny jeans. I feel happier wearing my clothes that actually fit me, I’m not tugging and pulling and being embarrassed anymore. I have became aware of my self-esteem and I have accepted it, now it’s time to change. In my opinion, losing weight is definitely mental and physical. This quote came to mind..the first step toward change is awareness

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”- Nathaniel Branden

Maybe this quote will help empower you to start your lifestyle change. I have begun to eat healthier, detoxify my life and surroundings (mentally and physically), and start down the path to a better me. Surround yourself with love, and self respect and like minded people who strive for the same goals and happiness and you will be bound to succeed.

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