My first year as a military spouse

I’m currently looking back on the years of my relationship. My husband and I had a court house wedding in January of 2013. I want to share some of the things that I’ve experienced and have learned myself being a military spouse, Navy wife. We all know that any relationship is work, but it seems that military ones require a bit more TLC and elbow grease.
 my first year as a military spouse
When we decided to get married at the court house, it was spur of the moment and kind of secretive. We knew that we’d end up having an actual wedding ceremony, but with his upcoming deployment in Feb, we decided to elope and I wouldn’t change that. Well, his deployment got pushed back and so we tried to keep planning for our ceremony but it seemed dang near impossible. I’m sure you can understand the ever changing schedule and never knowing what’s going to happen tomorrow, let alone a few months from now. Well my husbands deployment happened in July and I ended up moving out of our apartment and into a house we decided to purchase. I closed on the house alone and family helped me move in. That’s really when it sank in for me, I am starting a life here.

Live Your Life

I am not married to the military, it just happens to be my husbands profession. I know a lot of couples wear their dress uniforms for their wedding ceremonies (hey, I’m not knocking it either) but that wasn’t for me. The military doesn’t define us and I wanted to be able to look back on our wedding photos and remember our day simple as a man and woman joining their lives together.
We all know that it’s a struggle to live your life without feeling guilty that the world keeps spinning without your spouse close, especially during a deployment. (which happened to be the majority of my first year of marriage). Well, it does, the world keeps spinning and your life keeps moving forward. Don’t feel bad about it, there’s nothing you can do to prevent it. I suggest making a Deployment Bucket List of some sort, conquer some goals and take some steps to better yourself while you’re on your own terms.
During deployment I have been growing my business, meeting my fitness goals and really just try to connect with my wants and desires. It has helped me move through deployment pretty flawlessly and I am grateful for that!

Don’t Take Relationship Advice From The Experts

Especially in the military, everyone thinks they know everything about everything. The best thing I did for myself was to stop asking peoples opinions and develop my own. Military life is hard to navigate sometimes, but if you be true to yourself, your spouse and your relationship, you will succeed and go far together. I am going to leave it at that.

Be Flexible

My motto: “Go with the flow” is so spot on, it  hurts. I have planned so many things (our wedding ceremony to name one), made a backup plan B, then end up having to make another plan just to go back to the first one. It’s tedious and a bit stressful when you’re worrying about planning and details. The best thing I did for myself was to accept that going with the flow is a part of military life. Accept that there’s things that you cannot control and you will feel a weight lift off of your shoulders and you can breathe easy, if only for a moment.

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